I just turned 45.
Five years ago, I remember turning 40 and being fired up. I remember putting out videos called "40, Faster & Happier." You can search them via Facebook on the DelMoSports page. I wish I could go back and change almost all of them.
Do you know why? Because looking back over the past five years I missed a lot. I was so obsessed with this thing called DelMo that I made conscious decisions to miss out on people, places, and experiences and now realizing, at 45, I will never have that opportunity again I would have done things differently.
"What would you have done differently?"
- Been more involved in my family's routine. I'm guilty - for a long time, I was exempt from the little things that make a family go because I was 'busy' and those little things are where some serious memories can be made. I made some, but missed most.
- When home, be home. You probably hear the phrase "being present" as a corny cliché. Well, it could not be truer. When I was 40, my kids were 7 and 8 years old. All they wanted to do was snuggle and spend time, and basically be all over me all the time. The thing is, when you're going through it in real time YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT. And one day you wake up, and they're on their phones talking to their friends, or gaming, or meeting up outside and they don't want to hang as much (and they shouldn't, they have a life too!) and it hits you, hard.
- Not chased my ego. Let's just be honest with one another that most of what we do in this sport is one of two things: you want to feel better about yourself, or you want to be recognized and receive the praise of others to feel better about yourself. I AM GUILTY OF BOTH. I would go to conferences, participate in discussions, and rally the athletes to "VOTE FOR DELMO" for whatever award was being presented. You can see a pic of us winning three awards on our website. I look at that and just dip my head and think, "For what?" We recently entered the Best of the Jersey Shore contest and asked you all to vote. In the past, I would have voted a thousand times myself. Now, I didn't vote once. Check that - Kristy helped me vote because Rachel yelled at me for not voting. I guess I'm over it.
"Why are you telling us this?"
Because I realize, or have come to realize, just how fragile all of this is, including myself. How in one instance, your kids are little and you think they'll be there forever, and then one day you realize it's been a month and you haven't done tubby time with them. Or, one day things are flying high and all systems are firing, then the next day unforeseen circumstances disrupt the world and all but shut down your own world, and you are left wondering "what do we have here?" Some deep stuff.
"Yeah... back to 40, Faster & Happier."
Right, back to what we were talking about. Knowing what I know now, this is how I'm approaching the trek to 50: "The Journey to 50 and Beyond: Fulfilled & Aware." You see, there are no performance goals in here, no pressure to achieve something. No stress due to injuries that will GOD FORBID AFFECT MY TRAINING SCHEDULE. I know who I am at this point. I wish I would have known sooner, but this is my journey, so it's come a little late. No biggie, I've got this.
For some strange reason, I actually think this little blog/newsletter/post can give someone the clarity on what they're searching for.
On the flip side of this, I do have serious performance goals in all aspects of my life. The only difference is they take a back seat to my family, and my sanity. I hope yours do too.