I'm Not Who I Used To Be...

It started with knee surgery in early 2018, then two bad tweaks of that knee in the following months. Then it was reaggravating herniated discs in my neck and straining my lower abdomen... which takes forever to heal. Finally, the flexibility in my hips was so bad it began affecting my lower back which revealed its ugly head IRONMAN 70.3 Atlantic City weekend. I'm 42.75 years old and I'm wondering WTF will 50 feel like.

It's not all frustrating though. There are other things I have noticed in my life which have dramatically improved. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Focus:
As a kid, I had like... negative focus. Picture a fly going from one spot on the wall, to the table, then the counter, then bumping into the window 254 times. That was me. As I've evolved, I've noticed my focus is getting sharper and sharper as I age. I'm crystal clear on three things in my life: I love my family, I love what I do, I love being active... everything else plays off of those three things. They are my truths.

2. Confidence:
Once again, I struggled mightily with this for most of my life, even well into my thirties. I realized a lot of what I was doing was trying to impress those around me or trying to prove to myself that I can actually do what it was I putting my mind to. It wasn't until I hit rock bottom in 2015 (yes, that's not long ago) that I realized no matter what happens to me I can/will find a way to rise. This realization has allowed me to easily chat it up with the Executive Director of any board, highest elected official, or CEO of any company as well as get the respect from a day laborer making an hourly wage. That only comes with confidence in one's self.

3. Connections:
When you're young, you have many friends. As you evolve, narrow your focus and become more confident, you relish alone time. This doesn't mean you are anti-social, it simply means you realize your own power and you spend as much time as possible consistently trying to tap into that power. What does this have to do with connections? Easy, when you do decide to connect with people you understand that IT BETTER BE TIME WELL SPENT. There are moments now that I can spend 5 minutes with someone and have a very deep conversation and empathize with whatever they're experiencing in life. I don't know when it started, but I'm pretty certain it has to do with all of us recognizing our lowest moments, learning from them, then living the best versions of ourselves.

I am not who I used to be, and I thank God and Her infinite wisdom every day for it.